Feb 23 2007

Good Friday

Posted by J. Craig Canada in laptop, Santa Cruz, tickets

I managed to call the credit card company and so long as I pay what I said I could pay when I said I could pay it, there’s no problem there. I was told I had ‘outstanding credit’, which I thought was amusing. And ironic.

It wasn’t till this morning I managed to get to the court-house and attempt to do something about the sleeping tickets. I was informed one hasn’t hit the system yet, and I was given an extension for the other two which ended Wednesday. I thought today was the last day.

The clerk in the law library was very astute, and pulled up the law on the computer there, so that I read it again. It seems it’s only a misdeameanor if more than one ticket is given within 24 hours. And the fine for the first ticket is $20. For subsequent tickets I didn’t see anything in the law. But it really doesn’t seem to be all that serious. I suppose I feel ridiculous spending all those days worrying about going to jail over this, but it does still seem inevitable to me. That it’s just a matter of time, and the longer it takes the worse it will be.

I feel a little better thanks to an unexpected windfall. I just got something to eat and some cigarettes. And will be able to use my laptop after 8pm and over the weekend. And I should still have a credit card and a checking account.

I spend a few minutes now and then thinking I’m making mountains of molehills, but when people constantly scream ‘stop whining and get a job’ (as if I could get or hold a job in my current circumstances) it does inspire that kind of thinking.

I feel like I’ve alienated every one in town. But there are lots of acts of individual kindess and generosity I’ve both witnessed and received. Some people have been extremely generous, both with time and money. And I find myself resenting the proposition that I will probably never be able to be generous to others. Though I do indulge in small generosities now and then, giving a cigarette, that sort of thing.

Last night was most peculiar. A mexican, who spoke almost no English, came stumbling drunk down the street with a bunch of huge hot pretzels and Jamba juices. He was drunk and I figure he’d been panhandling and gotten a windfall. Or maybe got a day’s work standing in line at the lumber yard. And so he bought himself a little painkiller and shared his good fortune with whoever crossed his path. In his broken, halted English he manged to convey to me that he was homeless also. He left his pretzels and Jamba juices with me and went back to the store and came back with a soda (for me) and a cigarette and a pint of vodka. I refused the vodka, which surprised him. And I think he wanted some of my medicine and I wanted to share some with him but he didn’t make an issue of it and it didn’t seem to matter to him.

I had been sitting there in the rain, feeling sorry for myself and hungry. Someone had given me a dollar, so I had two dollars, and rather than save it for coffee or a soda I was thinking of spending $1 for a bag of chips at the drug store.

And that’s when the mexican walked up with the pretzels and Jamba Juice, and, to my complete surprise, offered me one.

And while we were sitting there and he was trying to be kind and I was trying to figure out if he was trying to scam me or someting, a mentally ill guy wearing a dress came singing up the street and offered me a cigarette.

I would like to think my writing on the newspaper’s forum, my attempts to convey what it’s like to be homeless, have to some extent inspired some of the actions of generosity and kindness I have received, but more importantly, that I have witnessed to others.

But the assault continues.

There’s been a lot of medical marijuana news in the past couple of weeks, and it turns out February 15th was designated Medical Marijuana week. I’ve only got my database updated through about the 15th, about a week behind, and it seems there are a number of important developments and, perhaps, some watershed events on the horizon. It is extremely frustrating not to keep abreast of things, to have so little time to access the internet and be informed, and to be frequently interruptted and distracted during the little time I have.

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