Jul 13 2006

I’ve had it.


I see I’ve posted since the first.

I didn’t remember that and don’t plan on reading it.

I don’t generally read anything after I’ve written. Not even my blog to ‘provide continuity’.

Tim got my stuff from Coral street last Friday. I saw him today and told me ‘not to worry about it, it was safe’.

The previous Saturday, the 1st, is when we went over there to get my things to find the lock had been changed, and I lost it and spit on Murphey. It was three weeks previous that I last visited my locker, or went to the Concentration Camp, the time Murphey harrassed me every 5 minutes, forcing me to stop going through my locker (looking for my camping ticket), repeatedly and calling the lot manager when I refused to stop what I was doing, ‘complaining that I was preventing him from using his locker’.

I saw Gene the other day. Gene is the one that offered to let me shower in the motel room HPHP got him for 5 days because he had ‘a cold’. He said he was sorry about the way he treated me, said he talked to the manager who said he could have one visitor.

I haven’t had a shower since Friday. Luckily I ran into someone on the street, desperate to clean up, and the allowed me to use theirs. However, I don’t have any clean clothes now, Tim has my stuff, and I get the impression I will not be able to go through it in his apartment. The reason I refused to go through it Friday at Pergolesi was I didn’t want to be embarassed, and I got the implication I was supposed to do it there, on his car, I guess.

I sent him an email and left a voicemail message Friday telling him what I really wanted/needed was a shower. I saw him this morning as he was leaving the HUFF meeting. He said he got the message, and received a phone call that I had gotten a shower, so he didn’t bother to get back to me. Oh, and he said he was glad I got a shower, that it was a very rare thing that he could do.

I sat on the beach 3 hours waiting for him while park maintenance and everyone else in the neighborhood walked past and got a good look at me. I did it because he said he would pick me up to buy some clothes.

Becky came out to speak to me afterwards, and I told her I was never going to be able to negotiate getting my clean clothes (or dirty clothes and doing laundry) with him so I could take a shower. Her response was St. Francis has showers. It was clear to me she doesn’t have a clue what the problem is. I tried to explain by telling her I had a damp washrag in my bag that had been there for days, and mildewed, and was ruining my socks.

She still didn’t get it.

No matter what I do, they are going to reduce me to spending all of my time eating, sleeping and cleaning up. It isn’t worth it. Especially when I’m spending every cent I have, and can beg borrow or steal, here.

Greenway hasn’t given me anything extra the past five times I’ve been there. And they all look like a bunch of punk gang-bangers. I cried when I left there.

I am so tired. So very tired. I haven’t bathed in 5 days. I’ve had it.

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