Mar 21 2006

Why don’t you just shoot me?

Posted by J. Craig Canada in sleep deprivation
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I haven’t had a solid hour’s sleep since Wednesday night. It started raining yesterday and it’s freezing cold out, and looks like it will continue for several more days.

I tried to sleep in the doorway of a store last night but got too cold before I could nod off. Was in LuLu’s as soon as they opened, freezing, and stayed there for about three hours before heading to the gay community center which I thought opened at 10am. When I got there I saw it opened at noon, so I went to Burger King and got a whopper meal. I didn’t really want to spent the money, but I needed to eat and there was no where else anywhere near that I could sit.

When I got to the gay community center they told me their counselor was very sick and wouldn’t be in today and she had a meeting elsewhere Thursday. So that was a total bust.

I got a very strong sense they just hope I’ll go away quietly and leave them alone.

Mother sent me an email yesterday urging me to swallow my pride and go crawling back to the people that screwed me over so badly.

Maybe I’ll get phenumnia and die.

Tomorrow, at the latest, I’ll be completely broke, without so much as a blanket. I’ve been wearing the same clothes for a week now, 24 hours a day, sleeping on the sidewalk.

It would be kinder if they just shot me.


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