Feb 25 2006

Down to the seeds and stems…

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In Tales of The City ‘Baby Cakes’ at one point says, “I’m down to the seeds and stems…”

Well, I know the feeling.

The forecast is for rain for about 3 days starting tomorrow or the next day, and I’m flat broke and my credit is extended to the max. I can’t afford a motel room anymore. I have a tent set up but I figure the rangers or somebody will either rip it up or take it before the rain.

I’m out of medicine as well.

When visiting my locker today the guy with the locker next to mine told me the park clean-up took everything he had – his tent, his tools, his sleeping bag, everything. So he was ‘starting from scratch again’.

Just like me, pretty much. They abuse you and take everything you have and then call you a lazy bum and scream ‘get a job’ at you. And the City Council smiles and sits, nice and comfy, figuring out how to do nothing and yet make it look like they care and are doing something.

I did a show on pirate radio last night with Rob Norse which wasn’t broadcast becase of a technical glitch (the DSL was out) but was available online. Here is the link for the archive: http://www.palmspringsbum.org/bin/brb060223.mp3

He asked me back Sunday and I intend to do it again. Hopefully there will be some callers and I will remember to say the things I forgot last time, though it has been a couple of days without medicine for me and I’m already noticing I have difficulty focusing and concentrating. And the nightmares have already started. Last night I had the first of what could be called PTSD-type nightmares, though it was much milder than those I suffered after Bonita had me raided and I was out of medicine.

For instance, when Rob asked me about the events leading up to why I posted on the Sentinel The Buds of Wrath (See Also: Vol. II, Vol. III, and Vol. IV) I got bogged down in leading up to the really devastating event, two days after I bought the laptop and had signed on to the church group. It was pouring rain and I was sitting there waiting for the bus to take us to the church and Marcus instructed Ron (the monitor) to tell me I had to go to the armory. Marcus tried to destroy my computer.

I’ve been reluctant (afraid) to go this far before but it was evident to me then and is more evident to me now that he really did hope to destroy my brand new laptop by forcing me to go to the armory in the pouring rain – where I would have to stand outside for half an hour or longer, and then have everything opened and searched – in the rain I suppose, and everything metal taken. I hear they take ANYTHING that is metal, even nailclippers. So he hoped my laptop would be destroyed by the rain.

And I was repeatedly told to ‘go to the armory’ until I had spent every cent I had and could charge on motel rooms. And then Marcus had Vicki tell me I COULD NOT go on the church groups anymore and that I WOULD go to the armory.

Well, Marcus & Ken Cole – my wish is that you rot in the same Hell you create for others, for all eternity.

Looking over my blog, I see I left out some really pertinent incidents leading up to my eruption on the Sentinel forums.

Here is what I wrote there:

Someone mentioned actions. Well, let’s talk about actions.

Two days after I get the computer I’m told I can’t leave the lot anymore after I sign on to the Church groups to prepare my medication and medicate. I was told three people complained. My guess is it was the three that threatened and harassed me when I wouldn’t give them any and asked to be left alone…

Two days later, in the pouring rain, after I’ve signed onto the church group and been sitting there for an hour or so waiting to board the bus I am told the bus is broken and they’re only taking six and I have to go to the armory. Well, forgive me for supposing that had anything to do with the laptop I was carrying in a plastic bag…that I had just bought. I was told afterwards the reason they only took six is they had taken over half the seats out of the van to save money on insurance.

I was told repeatedly, often after standing in line and signing on to the church group, to go to the armory. And I repeatedly left and got a motel room.

Until I announced I couldn’t do it anymore and was virtually bankrupt. Then I was told, after standing in line but before signing on to the church group, that the monitor had been told he couldn’t sign me up on the church groups anymore and if I had any questions to ask Vicki. Who told me I WOULD be going to the armory and I WOULDN’T be going on the church groups any more.

I told her she had bankrupted me, that I had spent money I couldn’t afford for three months going to the armory rather than go to the church groups. And left. Well, on the way Ron asked me what happened and I told him, or as much as I could before I said, “I have to get away from here and medicate right now.”

There were other events leading up to this, such as being told I had to go to the armory the night before my appointment for housing at Page Smith, which I announced to the group (I got the call while waiting to sign onto the church group and made the appointment.) Anyone that thought about it for one instant would know I would get a motel room rather than go to the armory, and would have to carry my baggage for half an hour walking to make the appointment, only to be asked if I were willing to give up medical marijuana to have a place to live and that they didn’t accept medical marijuana patients. And that is exactly what happened.

After being told by the monitor that he was sorry he couldn’t sign me onto the church groups anymore I sat down with my laptop and took a look at my spending report. There are 8 days in November I didn’t charge a room, 6 in December, and 6 in January. I can also give you a grand total and a monthly breakdown, or any other figure you would like.

Sooooo…let’s talk about ACTIONS.


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